Where in the world…

I’ve been unplugged.

Writing projects are still happening, but I had to take a break to deal with disability (approved) and the Big Move (accomplished, though we will be in an apartment for much longer than we expected) and a sick dog and life without Humira or pain medication.

It’s given me a lot of time to think.  And write.

I think it’s easy to get caught up in blogging and web sites to the detriment of writing fiction and more reflective pieces.  There’s room for both, of course.  I just had to recalibrate.

Melissa Donovan had a great post on keeping a writing journal.  Definitely worth checking out.

It’s time to write, so away from the computer I go.  I’ll be back.

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Another’s Success, Not Your Failure

Let’s talk about the ugly side of writing success and the hope we all have for it.  There are emotions we don’t want to feel, know we should not give into, and to which  most of us fall prey regardless.  Do these sound familiar?  Competition, jealousy, envy, superiority, fear, insecurity, ego, bitterness, resignation…the list goes on.

Are we really in competition with each other as aspiring authors?  Is the only prize the book contract or the big advance or popularity?  If someone else succeeds does that mean we have failed?  Really?

Despite my firm belief that one success raises all of  us, I fall prey tho these emotions,  too.  I won’t call them petty.  They are not.  Even authors entrenched on the NYT Best Seller list can succumb.  It is part of being human and loving what we do. So how do you react when a writer friend you admire and like pulls ahead of you?  You react as a human being.  How do you respond?  That depends on your personal values.

I spent a lot of time thinking about Anthony’s post from last week.   He definitely had some good points, and some statements that probably upset our more squeamish writing brethren:

Fear and poor self-esteem belong together. They are inseparable and they feed off each other like a perverted Yin and Yang. The foundation of this fear is a poor image of self. This fear is prevalent in the online writing community; look no further than the responses to #queryfail.

I agree with his message.  I am also going to add something here.  Another writer’s success cannot be allowed to affect your sense of self as a writer or a person.  It cannot. Another writer’s success does not mean you have failed! You will feel envy.  You will feel jealous, resentful, or angry.  If you don’t, please open a vein and make sure you bleed like the rest of us.  Feel these things, put them in context, and move on.

What is frustrating about our industry is that a truly excellent writer with a winning personality and a great story can go unpublished until the day they die.  That’s truth. In order to handle this frustration, you need to aim at the narrow window of opportunity and keep focused on making your shot through it.  Don’t be distracted by the one next to you who got a lucky shot.  Be angry, feel jealous, give him the finger…and then be glad for him.  Of all the good writers out there, one of us got a shot.  One of us got the call.  Use it to sharpen your focus on that narrow window and keep trying.

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Living With a Writer

Okay, writers, this article is not for you. Go get your significant other or older children and plop them down in your chair. Go enjoy time with your journal while your family reads instead.

Is the writer gone? Good. Hello, important person. Let’s talk about living with a writer. An alternate title could be “the care and feeding of your writer,” but I don’t want you to get the impression that your writer is a pet (wink).

My husband tells me that living with a writer is, at best, mystifying, and at worst, utterly confusing. Are you feeling the same? This is especially pronounced if your loved one has just recently made the decision to write or dramatically increased the hours they spend on the craft.

Here are some things you should know:

Writing requires process. This process continues wherever your writer may be. Sometimes flashes of insight or the perfect word pop up while your loved one is doing an activity with you or even folding clothes. The writer must rush to capture this insight on paper quickly. This might help you understand why the sink is full of dishwater or your shirts are scattered around while your writer is busy scribbling away. Give the writer time to capture the image, preferably without interruption. You will be rejoined soon.

Writing requires woolgathering. This is the one aspect of a creative personality that drives my husband crazy…and I do mean crazy with irritation and concern. I need to stare into space. I don’t plan it. It just happens. I go away inside my mind somewhere. He finds it disconcerting and disturbing. If you are in the same boat, work out a code word with your writer. When you lean in, concerned, and ask what’s wrong, accept the code word as a good answer. For us it’s “creating.” Though he still struggles with it, my husband now knows that I’m fine, just lost in my head somewhere for a few minutes. Here’s a great quote to help you out:

What no wife of a writer can ever understand is that a writer is working when he’s staring out of the window. Burton Rascoe

Do your best to respect this part of the process. It’s annoying on occasion, I know, but it’s necessary.

Writing requires support. Whether you are asked to read your writer’s work or not, your writer needs your support. Around our house, that means he lets me know if he really needs my attention, and is very good about leaving me alone if I’m in the middle of something. He has also taken on certain aspects of the business and the household to allow me more time. He does this without complaint. I provide my thanks by trusting him to do these things without direction or instruction and make sure we get time together also. For you it might mean taking care of the kids for an hour in the evening or keeping the household under control while your writer takes himself off to the café for a few hours. It’s a process you must work out together so that all needs are met. Your support in allowing your writer time with his or her pen will garner you much appreciation and thanks. It will also provide them with essential validation. Trust me, this is vital.

Writing requires life. If your writer has been holed up too long and is not on an imminent deadline, gently encourage them to leave the house for a little while. All writers benefit from life outside. A trip to the store, a movie, or a walk with you outside can generate new things. Since I have the Day Job and my husband is at home, it can be tricky. My deadline is very close and we both know how much still needs to be done. Yet, every once in a while, I hear his voice asking me if I’d like a break.

Writing requires feedback. If you are asked to read what your writer has written, do so in a reasonable timeframe (this is also part of support). Reserve comments, corrections, and all but the most basic impressions until asked for them. Sometimes it’s enough for your writer to have shared. Sometimes they will ask you what you think. That’s where impressions come in. If they ask for more feedback, provide it in bite-sized chunks. My husband is willing to read anything I give him, but never asks. He is uncomfortable in the role of editor or proofer, but I value his impressions, especially on fictional pieces. I don’t demand that he read them. Because he’s so respectful, I can leave articles or prose all over my desk and know he won’t get into them. I must ask and hand him the material I want him to read. When I do, he knows it’s important or that I’m feeling vulnerable. Other writers need their partners to express interest. Find out what works for your writer and provide it.

If you don’t wish to be your writer’s Reader (the one person we all write for), I have good news and bad. Your writer loves you and, on the deepest level, writes for you, so you’re stuck in the role of Reader. However, you can find compromise. Read and respond with encouragement and support. Have your writer get someone else involved for all the technical stuff. Where would Stephen King be if his wife, Tabitha, his Reader, refused to read his stuff? Personally, I write for several readers. My husband, of course, my son, my daughter, and myself. I am most vulnerable about what I write for myself (or to myself), and least vulnerable about what I write for my husband. I’m more likely to ask him to read what I wrote for myself. Odd, but there you have it. His willingness to read is a way to validate that he loves me for who I am, I suppose.

Writing requires practice. Understand that writing skill takes time to develop. Focus on the gems, the great sentences and the good imagery. Over time, your writer will improve…all without you saying a thing.

Writing requires validation. Your writer needs to know that you value their writing pursuit. Validation is, somewhat, a sum of all the preceding paragraphs here. Simply put, your writer needs to know that you value their talent, skills, and drive, and support their literary efforts.

Okay, you can ask the writer to come back. If you like, we can keep this conversation between us (wink).

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Some Good Writing Advice

Here’s the advice up front.  The justification follows:

The only techniques and processes that work are the ones that work for YOU.

If you are like a host of other aspiring writers, you’ve done your share of internet searches on subjects related to writing and read some books.  Chances are you’ve found your share of conflicting advice as well.

What works for one writer may not work for another.  I wish there were easy answers, but cookie cutter techniques make for cookie cutter writers…not what any of us have in mind when we talk about voice and originality.

We are all possessed of common characteristics that become highly individualized by person.  For example, there are logical minds and intuitive minds.  There are step by step thinkers and conceptual thinkers.  There are highly organized and structured processes just as there are more organic “growth” processes.  Any of us can contain any combination of these characteristics. It seems the most polarized traits I have observed on the web are the conceptual versus linear thinkers.

There are a wide variety of opinions and philosophies out there.  Many of them disagree.  What is a new writer to do?

First, forget what anyone else says and just write.  Develop the discipline to get a decent amount of words or pages produced every day.    It takes a lot of words and a lot of days before you start seeing glimpses of your own voice and finding out what works for you and what doesn’t.

Second, pay attention to your process (the method by which you move from idea to capturing it on paper to fleshing it out into a final piece) and seek out techniques that work with and for you.  As an example, one writer may find that Stephen King’s On Writing did little for them, but that Ray Bradbury’s Zen in the Art of Writing did.  Another writer might resonate with Anne Lamott’s time with her blank screen.  A third may find just what they needed to clarify thoughts in Ralph Wahlstrom’s The Tao of Writing.  These are three very different authors with very different processes.  Feel free to pick and choose what works for you.

You are an individual.  So is every published author and writing instructor.  While there is certainly something to be learned from every book you might read, some process and bits of advice will work better for you than others.

Please don’t let someone tell you that you must write the way they do or you are doing it wrong.  Don’t let the organized structured writer tell you that writing by the seat of your pants is stupid if you happen to be a conceptual thinker.  Likewise, if you are logic based and are more productive and comfortable with structure, don’t let an organic process writer tell you that you are stifling creativity.

The process that works for Sandra Brown is the one she uses.  The process that works for J A Konrath is the one he continues.  The process that will get you where you want to go is your own.

Never be afraid to explore and learn about other methods, techniques, and processes.  Never be afraid to revamp your own if it isn’t working for you.  And please don’t be afraid to take all writing advice with a grain of salt.

In order to define and develop your process, your voice, and your technique, you must write.  You cannot read a few books and expect you know it all (of course!).  These things develop over time and with practice.  There aren’t a magical number of words you must reach before you arrive at the right combinations, but you will know when you get there by both your output and quality.

Let me rephrase the advice from the beginning of this article

Use what works for you.  Gently become deaf to others who tell you their way is the only way to do it right.

“Writing does not come through teaching, but through learning.” The Tao of Writing

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Why a Night Owl Gets up Early When She Doesn’t Have To

I don’t often get to indulge my love of early morning pages.  My new retirement dream is to write them every day!

I have always been intrigued by the process first described by Dorothea Brande and made popular by Julia Cameron.  Dr. H Anne Klauser spoke of how the practice of writing early morning pages dramatically increased her output.  I’ve read several other authors and writing teachers who endorse the practice as well.

There’s something about early morning pages that brings out metaphor, poetic language, and a new way of seeing things, both big and small.

I admit I might write eight pages of sleep deprived ravings on some mornings.  Others, I might find one or two really nice gems.  The best days (usually after several days straight), almost half of what I write is full of descriptive language.

What’s so fun about this practice are the times you read your words again to find an almost alien voice…something really great that shoots your eyebrows up into your hairline.  Bemused, you wonder if you really wrote that, or someone snuck in when you weren’t looking.

I must confess, I love my sleep too much to get up at 3 a.m. on weekday mornings.  I do set my alarm early on the weekends as often as I can.  Sometimes, the results are…seriously… half asleep ramblings  or absolutely nothing.  The opportunity to write something good keeps me getting up.  And those little gems?  They keep me coming back!

So, my question to you is:  Have you practiced early morning pages?  What were your results and what do you think of the technique?

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